Pharmacy Interns and You

As previously discussed, I am a fan of most pharmacists; pharmacists and technicians operate in a symbiotic relationship. While a pharmacist is capable and legally authorized to perform any and all functions of a technician, given the current climate of the health-care industry, it would be impossible for said pharmacist to complete all funtions of a pharmacy alone while maintaining sanity and patient safety. Between verifying orders, checking prescriptions/products, counseling, taking telephone orders and administering injections, the pharmacist is a rather busy fellow. That's where technicians come in as a very valuable resource. That being said, lets get on to the point; ass-clown, med-school-reject pharmacy interns. Unless your intern started as a technician and wanted to earn more than just above poverty line wages, he/she has probably spent just this side of ZERO time in an actual functioning pharmacy prior to pharmacy school. This leaves a very large gap in knowledge from veteran technician to never-been-behind-the-counter newbie pharmacy intern. This does not stop some (read; a shit-load of) interns from assuming they are Christ's gift to the practice and all of us lowly technicians are not worthy of their runny, beer laden, frat boy stools much less the time of day.

This. Chaps. My. Ass.

So, listen-up interns, I'm about to crack a mother-fuckin' egg of knowledge all over this bitch.

As a technician with many years of experience, I have seen a lot of shit. Frankly, more than you. There I said it. I have seen more than you in the practice of pharmacy. I have great respect for education level. However, there isn't a goddamned thing that anyone can do in a classroom to give you the experience that I have in the field. So, you might have scratched your way through a bachelor's degree and blown the dean for an acceptance letter to pharmacy school where you spent a couple years studying the theory of pharmacy practice only to be shat into my pharmacy reeking of cheap beer, cigarettes and date-rape. But I have more experience than you do. In a year or so of practice, your education will kick in and you'll be my superior, where you'll probably do a great job.

But for right now.....

If you want to ask me a question about practice, policy or procedure only to do EXACTLY the opposite of that which I told you and then wonder why you have to have a little chat with the pharmacy director, only to glare at me afterwards, go fuck yourself.

Please don't come into the pharmacy at which I work, and ask me how to take a phone order (this actually happened....today.). If you were hung-over from that "rager" and skipped the day in school that you went over how to talk on the phone and take notes, quit. Drop out of school and go back to whatever over-privileged neighborhood in Seattle you came from, there is no help for you. I can't help you, your sorority sisters can't help you, neither can the parents that paid for your schooling. So, quit.

If you look a bit lost and I kindly (which rarely happens) ask you if there is anyway I can help you or anything I can explain to you, and you douchily and curtly tell me you are fine, only to fuck up whatever it is I could have helped you with, please for the safety of my patients, take a 100-count bottle of MS Contin and a fifth of gin and GO TO SLEEP. .... permanently.

You are here for one reason, FREE LABOR. You need credit for a rotation, the pharmacy needs free labor. But as the man says, "There ain't nothing in this world for free." I guess it will be the patient that pays for your shitty attitude and unwarranted, cocky behavior.

Forever hanging with the crazies-
DaftTech